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new found glory
by Nicola
Rating: PG
Spoilers: #4.08, 'After The Show'
She is not a princess, and she doesn't need to be saved.
She can lie in the dirt (sandy soil cast blue in the darkness). She can lie, and feel that this is better than floating above the stars in a white robe. She can feel the sheen of sweat; the abrasion of dirt; the warmth of sex. Nothing deeper. (Although in the glimmering dark of orgasm, she imagines she can feel the worms in the earth; a butterfly beating its wings on the other side of the world . . .)
They do not tell her that she is beautiful. She likes to think it is her energy that they admire and revere. Her passion, her spirit; infusing into them.
Catherine doesn't need a man to make her feel good. She has neither the time nor the energy to run around after one. But with Greg and Nick, she feels undeniably . . . happier (and it is they who do the running).
Lindsay adores them both. Greg makes her laugh so hard she'll snort milk out of her nostrils. He'll happily argue the relative merits of Pink and Britney with her until long past her bedtime. Nick is her confidant and hero. She'll curl up on his chest as if he were her teddy bear.
When Lindsay walked in on the two of them kissing one afternoon, Catherine had to sit her down and explain that sometimes, instead of a girl and a boy, a boy and a boy . . . Lindsay cut her off with a haughty sneer, and told her in no uncertain terms that she knew about all this stuff already. "Are Greg and Nicky gay then?" She paused, and opened her eyes very wide. "That's so cool! Tiffany thinks she's all that just because her cousin's a fag . . ."
"Don't say fag," Catherine said sternly, although she smiled in spite of herself.
Somehow she doubts that Lindsay would be quite so understanding of girls who have sex with boys who like other boys — and her; they like her, too.
Because even if she isn't a princess, she is special to them.
April 2004
Muse music: 'I Want To Save You' by Something Corporate (in a roundabout, inverted sort of way)
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