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Satisfaction
by Nicola
Rating: PG-13
". . . because I want you."
The kiss should have been slow, a tentative trial as the scene shifted and Todd's surroundings fell away. But something in his brain snapped, and he found himself kissing Karl hard and fast, with reckless bite. Their surroundings remained, and it was still mere floors away from where his pregnant girlfriend lay in a hospital bed; he was still Todd, paralysed by doing the right thing. Nevertheless, none of these things seemed connected as teeth met lip, and his tongue pushed further inside Karl's mouth.
He squirmed out of Karl's grip that still pinned him to the door, pressing forward instead, into a wall of warm flesh. He pushed insistently; hand pressing against Karl's chest, leg angling instinctively between his thighs. Todd was practically spitting inside Karl's mouth, his tongue quick and relentless as he delved in search of reciprocal pressure.
Their first kiss had been brief and startling; tinged, for Todd, with experience of kissing with girls. (Polite kisses with sweet girls, who liked it when he held their hand, or stroked their hair.) Now, Todd felt the politeness inexorably stripped away. He kicked and pushed, even as he clung desperately to Karl. His fingers curled at Karl's scalp, yanking the hair at will, waiting for the growl of pain that Todd could swallow along with his own moan.
He had known that Karl was stronger than him, but Todd was nonetheless startled to find himself suddenly slammed back against the door. Karl's hands held both Todd's shoulders firmly, as he wrenched their bodies apart. Instantly, Todd missed the taste and sensation of Karl. He banged his head against the door, savouring the crack of pain. His breath was sharp and ragged as he licked his lips, staring Karl down defiantly.
"Is this a race?" Karl said, with his usual casual calm — although Todd was gratified to hear the way that his breath caught unevenly. "Is this the part where you race to stay ahead of the feelings of guilt?"
"Fuck off," Todd said roughly, still feeling the grip of anger from their argument seizing and releasing in his joints. He bucked his shoulders, but Karl held firm and continued to speak in the same maddeningly calm tone.
"I can fuck you like that. Biting and clawing. With you angry and resentful at every stroke and thrust." He paused, watching the words sink into Todd's belligerent expression. "I can fuck you like that, and it will be good — because I'm good. I've had sex like that before, and it's been mindblowing"—he leaned closer, his lips barely brushing Todd's as his voice lowered to a murmur—"fucking mindblowing." Karl rolled his head away, and Todd agitated hungrily at his absence. "But I've never felt particularly satisfied afterwards.
"And I don't think your first time should be like that."
Todd felt his tensed arms slacken in Karl's grasp. He leaned his head against the door, feeling some of the restless anger seep out of him. He could hear voices, muffled and cheerful, as footsteps trailed down the hall outside.
He wanted to look away (to register embarrassment or hurt, or maybe even retain some of his anger), but Karl's clear, steady gaze refused to allow it. It wasn't until he felt the gentle trace of fingertips along the side of his face that he realised he was no longer pinned down.
"Now," Karl whispered. "I want you to kiss me like you love me."
April 2004
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